tumblingdays: (celebrate)
It's been a week of new things...

I already mentioned riding a mechanical bull over the weekend. Well, last night I did some modeling work for a chain clothing store. It is unpaid work, instead they give you a pretty nice discount, and since I shop there anyway, that works pretty well for me. I spent two and a half hours walking around the store, wearing outfits picked out by a stylist and chatting with customers. There was no catwalk and no photography, though we were asked to include walking through the display windows as part of our circuit. All of the women involved were very nice, and we had a wide range of very different looks. The store carries plus-sized clothes, so no woman was smaller than a 14, and we ranged up to (I would guess) a size 24. Some were taller women and I was surprised not to be the shortest, since I am just over 5 feet.

I was flattered to be asked to come in and do it in the first place, and REALLY flattered to be asked to come back and do it again. I like my body, and I do not think that I am unattractive, but I am well aware that I do not fit into society's narrow range of pretty. I am also pretty solidly headed toward middle age. None of these are characteristics that make me think someone would ask me to display my clothes on their body, and especially that they would ask me to come back and do it a second time after I did it once.

But- to my complete surprise- I sold clothes. One woman left with the outfit I had on in hand almost in its entirety. She bought two of the three pieces I was modeling at the time. As I chatted with other women, they told me that they loved the way I looked and asked about fit and also asked my opinion. The best part of the night was talking to a woman who doesn't like her body at all. Her proportions are difficult as she has a curvy bottom and narrow shoulders. I recommended a beautiful skirt, and she balked. I suggested that she just try it on. It looked so good on her, and she actually teared up looking at herself in the mirror. For fun after that she tried on other skirts and got progressively less critical of her body as the night progressed. She left with the first skirt she tried on and thanked me after she checked out for making shopping "fun" for the first time in a long time.

My own experience with the clothes I wore was similar. The stylist picked slim cut pants for almost all of my looks. Like the woman above, I am very curvy in my hips and butt, and I have quite a bit of lower belly fat (unlike the woman above who did not have a lot of belly fat). I was shocked when I put on the first pair of pants to discover that she had chosen form fitting leggings and a suit jacket that did not fall below my butt. I wore it though, and this is the outfit that another woman bought outright. I would not have picked any of the four outfits I modeled. Elements of them yes- only one of them was completely outside of my personal style. I like tailored looks, and this shop pretty much specializes in tailored looks, so that wasn't an issue. I loved the way I looked in them though, and I when I did my own shopping at the end of the night, I came home with two pairs of slim cut pants. One pair, which are brown suede and break all my "rules" for what I wear (slim cut, tapered, need extra care...) I bought almost solely because my husband came by the store to see how things were going and his eyes lit up when he saw my in these pants. How could I not buy them after that?

I thought that another outfit seemed a little young for me- slim cut jeans with a t-shirt and an open longer sweater. It wasn't though. I looked fresh and young, but not like I was trying to hard. I didn't buy the t-shirt, but the other two pieces went home with me.

Overall, it was a really positive experience, and I definitely plan to do it again. After two and half hours of walking around the shop in heels, but feet were KILLING ME. I'm sitting here this morning with them propped up before I get ready for my next adventure.
tumblingdays: Naked Gnome Running Off with a Sharpie. (blogging)
On a site that I frequent, someone posted a picture that said, "May your life be as awesome as you pretend it is on facebook." The quote made me laugh and it also made me think about the way I present myself online. I'm an honest, open person. I've worked hard over the past few years to balance my open-nature with a growing appreciation of holding back a few things for myself. Since getting married, I've also had to consider my husband's personality. He is more closed off than I am.

It's interesting (and probably a little egotistical) to pull up my facebook, pinterest, twitter, etc. pages and see the way it looks to someone who isn't me. If I were a stranger or an old friend who only knew me from online what would I think of me? Would their impressions be accurate? Would they be positive?

So I did a quick round-up and came up with some adjectives based on my own pages:

fun, nerdy, cluttered, active, sentimental, fashion-oriented...

Not bad. Maybe not the first five adjectives I'd use to describe myself in RL, but still okay. Except for the sentimental one, they are certainly things most people can figure out about me in a very short conversation.

I was a little surprised by how much of my sentimentality shows up in my on-line presence. It's a part of me that embarrasses me more than a little bit and a part that I would have adamantly died existed before the past year or two of therapy. I don't much like to admit how easily moved I am by quotes, music, a good book, a well-crafted story. I tend to avoid movies that tug the heartstrings because they leave me feeling manipulated. Vulnerability doesn't sit well with me.

Still, I have slowly been learning to appreciate the fact that it is better to feel and be vulnerable than to not feel. It's a cliche, I know, but also a lesson that was a long time coming for me.
tumblingdays: Naked Gnome Running Off with a Sharpie. (blogging)
Starting a new blog is, to me, like looking at a blank sheet of paper. I'm excited for the new space and a little daunted by what I want to say here. I do not want to waste the gift of space, but I don't want to feel hemmed in by the pressure to put something meaningful every time I sit to write.

So, first a brief statement. I am starting a new blog. I do not plan to continue updating my other blogs. It's hard to let go of the one I've been more or less continuously updating since 1992, but that space comes with the burden of the person I used to be, and I find myself less willing to be defined that person. More, there are the scattered remnants of relationships that no longer have a place in my life, and those shredded pieces are a kind of censorship that I need to move past. The other blog was specifically a place to write about my recovery from disordered eating and my journey into intuitive eating, and keeping that blog on a site dedicated to dieting was no longer working. Simply put, I need a new space.

My purpose here is manifold, but two main ones stand out:
1. To make a fresh start in a place where I can write with less constraints.
2. To combine my two writing blogs into one place.

And so I begin... again.

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tumblingdays

October 2011

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