tumblingdays

A friend and I walked a 5K yesterday. It was my second 5K and first "race" and her first 5K. Our goals were simple - finish in under an hour and don't come in last place. We accomplished both! We walked it, and I came in 50th in my age group. A "good" aerobic walking pace is 17-20 minute miles, and we were at a 17.8 minute mile. This pleases me.

I woke up today feeling much better in my own body. The route had one large hill and hiking up it worked out a kink in my shins probably caused by living in high heels. Yay for exercise?

After the race, our husbands joined us for dinner. My husband ran the 10K while we were running the five. His goal was the same as ours, and he did well. We finished in 55.19 minutes. He was at 59.06. We hadn't even gotten water yet when he crossed the finish line. It was excellent to sit with old friends, catch up, and feel like I had accomplished something.

After dinner, I went over to another friend's house. We sat out on her roof drinking wine and talking late into the night. This was possibly the perfect end to a Saturday night. Her roof is a cozy, secret place, protected by old trees that let the stars shine down like benevolent eyes.

I'm in the middle of a long stretch on the road, and I can already feel a little bit of travel fatigue kicking it. The time will go by quickly. We are only 10 weeks from Christmas now, and I will be home the week of Thanksgiving. It's not that far way.

I've been making plans with an old friend to spend a weekend with her and her husband in about a month. I'm super excited about it, but a little nervous too. I used the term "old friend" here, but I am not sure how apt it really is.

By one measure, she is my oldest friend. We met when I was four and moved into a house in her neighborhood. But then at nine, I moved away and our contact was sporadic until I was about 16. Then- well, some things happened in my family life that are best left for another post- and I lost contact with most of the people from before. In large part, this was the choice of the people in my past. In some fewer cases, this was my choice. And in a very few cases, this was no one's choice. I turned 16 before the age of Facebook and cell phones and it was easier to lose touch with people then. The problem is, I don't really know who I just "fell out of touch" with and who made the choice to abandon me and my family. This makes me slightly untrusting of people in general, and bitter and definitely untrusting of people in my past specifically. And even among those who couldn't deal with what was going on at the time, some of them have since searched me out to reconnect. My past can be a tangled mess sometimes, and mostly I try to live my life moving forward.

Chronology aside, she is really someone that I am just getting to know as an adult. We met up for a tentative lunch a few months ago, and it went so well that we spent literally hours at lunch and then at coffee afterwards. I like the adult that she has become, and I like that we are reconnecting. At the same time, it is really, really strange to interact with someone who remembers me best as the child I was before... When she tells stories about our past together, it's like getting a postcard from a distant country. I wonder if she feels the same way?

Coming up next month, my husband and I are spending the weekend as her and her husband's guests. We don't live in the same city, and this will be our second in person visit. I admit that I am a little nervous. It's a big step for me to invite select people from my past back into my life. It scares me that this decision will be repaid with new hurts. I hope not though. I hope that it will be a step in merging the old me into the person I am now.

Current Mood: chipper
Current Location: home

Despite my initial rough start, I actually ended up having a very nice weekend. My husband and I went to Nashville's Tomato Art Fest on Saturday, where we met up with friends, viewed local art work, listened to music, and ate fried green tomato BLTs. It was a good time.

Yesterday evening, we joined friends to celebrate C's graduation from college. C, like me, took the scenic route to a college degree. I know how hard it is to go back to school as a full-fledged adult. It feels like squeezing yourself back into a too-tight space. I'm proud of her for doing it. We stayed later than we intended, meeting new people and getting to know other people better. It was a lovely night.

This morning, I walked four miles. This is a personal best for me, and I am pretty darn proud of it! Shell and I took our time, so we took a full hour and an half to get through it, but I have never walked four miles before without stopping. Just two weeks, I walked my first formal 5K, and she and I are doing another one in October, but this was a new milestone, and I'm celebrating it.

My husband and I followed that up with a second graduation party this afternoon for another excellent friend. He just earned a masters degree. People who can keep going back to school impress me so much. I'm not much for classroom learning, and he, like my husband, is clearly a scholar. So cool.

We ended the evening playing a board game with friends. The game is based on the Battlestar Galactica tv series, which I never liked. I admit that I was prepared not to like it, because I didn't watch the show and I don't usually care for strategy games, but it was a really good time. I'd totally play again.

Now I'm at home and preparing for my week. I'm trying to live my new favorite quote:

"Please take responsibility for the energy you bring into this space."

So I'm spending a little time this evening contemplating the spaces I will inhabit this week and what energy I can contribute to them. It's a meaningful meditation at the beginning of the week.

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Entries tagged with friends

Feel the wind blow our wanderin' hearts Like a feather

And finally found all your courage to let it all go

the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself

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October 2011

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