Sunday, September 4th, 2011

tumblingdays: Naked Gnome Running Off with a Sharpie. (blogging)
On a site that I frequent, someone posted a picture that said, "May your life be as awesome as you pretend it is on facebook." The quote made me laugh and it also made me think about the way I present myself online. I'm an honest, open person. I've worked hard over the past few years to balance my open-nature with a growing appreciation of holding back a few things for myself. Since getting married, I've also had to consider my husband's personality. He is more closed off than I am.

It's interesting (and probably a little egotistical) to pull up my facebook, pinterest, twitter, etc. pages and see the way it looks to someone who isn't me. If I were a stranger or an old friend who only knew me from online what would I think of me? Would their impressions be accurate? Would they be positive?

So I did a quick round-up and came up with some adjectives based on my own pages:

fun, nerdy, cluttered, active, sentimental, fashion-oriented...

Not bad. Maybe not the first five adjectives I'd use to describe myself in RL, but still okay. Except for the sentimental one, they are certainly things most people can figure out about me in a very short conversation.

I was a little surprised by how much of my sentimentality shows up in my on-line presence. It's a part of me that embarrasses me more than a little bit and a part that I would have adamantly died existed before the past year or two of therapy. I don't much like to admit how easily moved I am by quotes, music, a good book, a well-crafted story. I tend to avoid movies that tug the heartstrings because they leave me feeling manipulated. Vulnerability doesn't sit well with me.

Still, I have slowly been learning to appreciate the fact that it is better to feel and be vulnerable than to not feel. It's a cliche, I know, but also a lesson that was a long time coming for me.

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